Yesterday I had my fourth round of Chemo.  It was the last of the first two drugs, the A and the C.  I'm happy because I am now half way through the chemo!!!!!  The next drug is Taxol.  While I have already lost all of my hair, the taxol may make me loose my eyelashes and eyebrows too.  Which makes me realize that I am more attached to my eyebrows than I am to my hair.  Losing my hair didnt' bother me too much, but losing my eyebrows would.

I also met with the oncologist this week.  He said I am doing really well.  But I have to have a CAT scan on my liver this week, as the prelimary ultrasound showed a small spot on my liver.  They believe that its a hemo-something-or other, where two blood vessels meet and form a little pool before spitting off again, but he wants to do a CAT scan to be sure.  I am glad that he is so thorough, but waiting for test results is the worst part!  Thats where your imaginiation gets carried away!

I will be having a masectomy in November.  I thought at first I would be having reconstruction at the same time, but now I won't be.  Apparently it makes checking for reoccurance of the cancer more difficult.  And I don't want anything that would hinder any more early detection.  So now I have to figure out how to explain a missing breast to my 3 year old. 

That has to be the very worst part, trying to figure out how to explain things to her, without scaring her.  And of course the thought of both of my children growing up without me.  Which of course is not going to happen, but its impossible to make those thoughts go away.  Especially when the oncologist tells you that you have a "bad cancer".

Posted by shelleyschulte at 7:23 AM EDT

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My daughter finally asked about the hair.....its all gone already.  But it has its advantages, when I get out of the shower I just pull my little cap on....thats it....done!  No blow drying, no curling iron... pretty easy. 

Anyways, my daughter asked why I was wearing the cap on my head.  I avoided the question as I had not figured out what I was going to tell her yet.  The book "What happened to Mommies hair"  seemed a little too old for her.  So I distracted her with something and we went on with our day.  I didn't want to tell her I was "sick" because I new that would scare her.  I thought about telling her I had something bad in my body and needed to take some medicine to make it go away, and the medicine also made my hair fall out.  But then I thought, if I tell her that, she will be afraid to take any medicine she might need down the road, because it might make her hair fall out.  So the next morning she came up to me with a brush and asked if she could brush my hair (they are so damn smart at 3!).  So I looked at her and said "Honey, mommy cut her hair too short and it all fell out.  I just have to wear these caps for a little while and then it will all grow back."  Ugghhh... I lied!

Then that cute little face looked back at me and she said "Mommy, where's my pink camel?"  She bought it!  No questions, nothing!  And she hasn't asked about it since.  Maybe it was the right answer after all!

My third session of chemo is coming up on Tuesday.  What a nice end to a long weekend! (Ha!)  This last session took a little longer to recover from than the last one.  So no doubt this one will be even a little longer!

And if recovering from one session and getting ready for the next one isn't enough, my daughter somehow got the Chicken Pox and of course gave it to my son as well.   At first I was scared because I can't be around anyone who is sick and have to go to emergency at the first sight of a sore throat.  But as luck should have it I am immune as I've already had them.  So it was actually better that they got the Chicken Pox than  a cold. Life does not slow down for anything, not even cancer.

Posted by shelleyschulte at 10:10 PM EDT

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A very good friend of mine has created a team for the CIBC Run for the Cure, to run in my name.  She has set a goal of $5000.  If anyone is interested in Donating to her Team it would be greatly appreciated.  Here is the link.... Her name is Deanna Collarile and she is running in Hamilton/Burlington.

https://www.cibcrunforthecure.com/html/personal_page.asp?track=2735493&languageid=1

Posted by shelleyschulte at 9:28 PM EDT

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Mood:  a-ok

I just wanted to say thank-you all so much for all the wonderful emails.  While I am having a hard time replying to all of them, I definitely read and cherish them all.  I have started a binder of them to take to Chemo with me to keep my spirits up.

I am determined to beat this.  This ugly thing has already taken the lives of two of my Aunts, one very recently in June.  Fortunately, we didn't know about mine before she passed, as I'm sure that would have broken her heart.  But I will not let this terrible "C" word take another one of our family.  We have suffered enough already and I won't let my family lose another battle with this disease.  I know that I have two beautiful aunts cheering me on from Heaven, and who could ask for more than that?

Posted by shelleyschulte at 11:02 AM EDT

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Mood:  not sure

HER2 (human epidermal growth factor receptor 2) is present in 15%–25% of breast cancers. Women with HER2-positive breast cancer usually have more aggressive cancer, are at increased risk of recurrence and have a poorer survival than other women with breast cancer.

So I am not ER +ve, so no Tomaxifin, no Menopause.  But the bad news is I am Her2 +ve as above.  I have known that for a few days, but now that I've looked for more info on the internet, I am a little worried.   No more internet!  Arrghhh!

Posted by shelleyschulte at 6:24 PM EDT

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Mood:  happy

Wow!  What an overwhelming response on my first day up!  Thanks to everyone for all of the wonderful emails and comments.  Thank-you for the lovely comments on the pictures as well.  Believe it or not those pictures were taken just 1 hour after our first visit with the oncologist, where he told us that he believed that I may be stage 4 already (terminal).  We were so emotional, and I just want to send a big hug out to the photographer, Jodi Renee (a link to her site is on my links page).  She did an amazing job, and you would never know we had just received such horrible news.  I had made the appointment with her when I first learned I had cancer, because I wanted some nice family shots for the kiddies in case the worst were to happen, and before I lost my hair.

There has been lots of good news in the past week.  The biopsy on the lymph nodes on my right side came back negative (not the side where the lump in my breast is), which is fantastic news.  It was most likely reacting to my having to stop breastfeeding, so I was completely engored!  Also, all of my other tests came back negative as well, lungs, liver, bones all clear.  Which means I am not stage IV, just stage II, which means I have a much better chance of beating this thing!  Whoo hoo!

I just finished my second round of chemo on Tuesday.  I have lost most of my hair already, it will only be a few more days before its all gone.  And those of you who know me, know how much hair I have!  The poor drains, we will probably have to call a plumber!

My daughter, Annike, hasn't noticed much yet.  I started wearing the headbands just before the hair started falling out so she would get used to those as well.  I don't think it will be much longer until she asks about it and we will have to break out "What happened to mommy's hair".

But my spirit is good, I intend to kick cancer's ass!  And all of your support has motivated me even more.

Thanks so much!

Shelley

Posted by shelleyschulte at 9:11 PM EDT

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